Fetishes and kinks come in all shapes and sizes and fall across a long spectrum of “weirdness”. You like what you like though, so the “weirdness” that others see doesn’t really phase you. Let’s start by defining the difference between fetishes and kinks though…Fetishes are almost a necessity for you to have an orgasm. You are absolutely fixated on whatever it may be, and even if you’re not in a sexual situation at all and your fetish is present, you will be almost instantly turned on.
A kink on the other hand is more like icing on the cake. You don’t need it in order to get off, but it definitely adds to your pleasure. Obviously there are levels of obsession with fetishes and kinks alike though.
So what happens when you don’t know what these fetishes are? You know, somewhere deep down, that you’re a total closet freak but just have no idea what exactly it is that you like yet. You could be missing out on a little kinky thing that you’re lowkey into or a full blown fetish that may be the defining factor between mediocre sex and toe-curling, body trembling sex. Either way it can’t hurt (unless you want it to) to find out which way your freak flag flies.
Have no fear... most people are way f*cking kinkier than you might expect and many are still trying to figure out exactly what the hell it is that they like, so you’re definitely not alone. Almost everyone has some sort of a fetish or kink.
Finding your fetishes is largely trial and error. How do you know what you do or don’t like if you never try it? Don’t fear the obscureness of what you might possibly be into. I promise that you’re not the only one. Embrace the hell out of it! No judgement can be passed by anyone when you’re the one having mind blowing orgasms and they’re not.
Experiment... by yourself and with someone you’re totally comfortable with. Spending time with yourself first is crucial to really discovering what your kinks are. Our deepest, darkest, freakiest fetishes already lie just below the surface, you just need to go all inception on this b*tch and figure out what exactly they are.
Watch porn, buy yourself a toy, do whatever it is that you need to do. Think about all the times you were ridiculously turned on; the sights, smells, people, tastes, feelings, situation… you could literally be kinking out on anything and everything in that memory.
Then, put it to the test. If your eroticly charged memory is enough to make you cum then there’s a good chance you might want to try it out in person.
Practice makes perfect... most kinks and fetishes are found on accident so don’t get too bummed if you can’t figure out what it is that gets you all hot and bothered right away. Practice, practice, practice. Whether you’re more comfortable trying things with your partner, BFF, or some stranger off the street, you do you.
Don’t let your search stress you out too much. Sex is supposed to be fun. If you relax and let the bodily fluids flow then worse case scenario, you’ll have a sh*t ton of orgasms on your way to discovering how kinky you really are.
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