You’re watching me, I know.
I want know.
I wish I knew.
So what are the answers?
How will I make it through?
Will I find the answers by asking you?
These are the drunken, hazy nights that I think that you’re still here
That I want to call you just to say hi and hear you call me Pooh Bear.
From a place so distant, and a time so far beyond my reach, that you cannot imagine me as I am now,
But from a place worldly enough that you can still remember the little girl of your other life with untamable blonde locks and the blue eyes of a distance you could not reach. The daughter that you remember.
Can you hear me?
I feel as though you’re in my head, in my thoughts, movements and slurs. I feel as though you’re part of me now more than you ever were.
I want to watch myself bleed. But I know that you’d disprove. You would make it hurt to watch the blood spill from my veins. It would hurt me as it would hurt you to watch your little girl cut her flesh in two.
It’s like a one sided conversation that I make up the answers to just to keep it going.
I answer for you what words of yours I hear in my head. Almost as if I knew you.
I don’t recall the hate and spiteful fights; the angry words and glares of disgust.
I remember the last hugs at the airport when I said my farewells to a dead man. I remember the emotions spilled onto each other’s lap like hot soup we wanted to savor but that burnt our flesh. Those are the words branded on my bones that shape your voice inside my head.
Where are you now?
What world, what realm?
What form have you taken?
What sound?
What the color of your aura?
And the shape of your soul?
And do you remember the daughter you once had with untamable blonde locks and the blue eyes of a distance you could not reach?
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